In order to be forgiven for your sins, you must forgive others for theirs. Its as simple as that. The Bible makes no secret of this as it is mentioned in every single gospel with the exception of John. (If you find it in John let me know)
At first this seems to contradict what we are taught in church. "All we need to do is accept Jesus and his act of sacrificing himself on the cross will be enough to forgive us." Well this isn't wrong either. Yes if you accept Jesus his act of sacrificing himself is enough to forgive you, but how realistic is it to expect God to forgive you for the transgressions committed against him, when you cannot forgive the infinitely smaller transgressions committed against you by others. The situation is the same as the unmerciful servant in Matthew. A master cannot be expected to forgive a massive debt, when that debtor cannot forgive a smaller one himself.
For those with their sights on heaven this makes more sense than you might think. Heaven is supposedly paradise. It is a place where everything is perfect when we will engage in fellowship with each other and the almighty. IF this is indeed what heaven is like, than there is no room for grudges or personal conflicts. If we hold grudges against fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, fellowship with them will not be friendly. If we are indeed stuck for all eternity with people whom we have not forgiven then Heaven will become Hell for the occupants. This creates obvious problems. In order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, one must be at peace with everyone present, and everyone that is yet to come.
This brings up an obvious question. Why don't we forgive? I can think of three reasons.
1. We feel that they have done something so bad, they cannot get away with it.
2. We feel that if we forgive, we are letting them off the hook.
3. We feel that we are somehow hurting the person if we don't forgive them.
The first two run together very well. The beauty of reality is that we are not letting them off the hook. "Vengeance is mine, says the Lord" When we forgive the person, the debt still stands for God. When we sin against another person, we also sin against God. Just because you have given your forgiveness doesn't mean that they are blame free. Obviously if they repent before God, they will be forgiven, but that is irrelevant. Vengeance is God's, not yours.
The third is completely false. When we don't forgive others we are not hurting them; we are hurting ourselves. If we live with bitterness, we will become bitter. Our entire outlook on life will become bitter. The pain you take with you will linger as long as you carry it. To put it simply, if you cannot forgive for others, forgive for yourself. After all, not forgiving is hurting you more than the offender of the sin.
Its not an option
Its not an option(biblical passages)
Luke 6:37
14For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Matthew 6:14
25And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."
Mark 11:5
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
Matthew 18:21-35
biblegateway
Great Debt(Biblical passages)
36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.
39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."
40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.
41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,d]">[d] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"
43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.
44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
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Great debt
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."
Luke 4:47
It makes complete sense. If you are forgiven a lot you feel obligated to love the person who forgave you. Likewise, if you have not been forgiven much, you have no reason to love your forgiver. This seems to be a contradiction. God wants us to love him more than anything, but he wants us to live as sin free as possible. If someone who has been forgiven little loves little, than those who have sinned little should love little.
I believe that we are looking at this the wrong way. Rather than look at how much we sin, look at how much we recognize our own sin. We as humans tend to make distinctions between people based on our levels of sin. Many Christians consider themselves righteous, and they consider others to be sinful or evil. In God's eyes, we are all sinners, and we equally need his forgiveness. If we look at it this way, it is not to what extent we have been forgiven. It is to what extent we realize we have been forgiven. After all, how much would you love if you grossly underestimated the amount that you were forgiven?
I would also argue that this concept plays well into my previous blog. In addition to loving much in return, he who has been forgiven much forgives much in return. If you believe that you have lived a perfect life, you expect others to live perfect lives in your eyes. Their sins are seen unforgivable. If you have committed monstrosities and have been forgiven, you are more likely to forgive others transgressions. Again this is not to say that the more we sin the better Christian we are. On the contrary, the aim is not to sin. However, if we recognize our sins, we become much better Christians for a variety of reasons. For one we are less likely to repeat those sins in the future. For two we would realize how in debt to God we are for his forgiveness and love him more. Finally, after we realize the extent to which we have been forgiven, we will be more likely to forgive our peers.
Forgiveness
Everyone knows the history of Germany during WWII and the atrocities that Hitler and the 3rd Reich committed. We are horrified that humans are capable of such acts. However, very few people who are alive today were directly effected by these events. Very few survivors are still alive from those concentration camps. While the rest of us feel anger and disgust at these events, they don't overwhelm our emotions for long periods of time. They don't consume our lives to the point where functioning is difficult. They are not our first waking thoughts, nor our final thoughts as our head hits the pillow. They simply do not directly effect us.
Even the atrocities that effect us are relatively easy to forgive. Picture a bully from High School. This is the guy that would pick on you every day until you wanted to cry. This is even harder to forgive than the distant mass murders, because they are closer. This strikes home. This directly effects you. However, it is still possible to forgive. Usually these people were always mean to you. You never expected any more from them nor did you receive it. After contact ceases, they are no longer important to you. The bullying has stopped; the problem is over. You can go on about your life.
The hardest ones to forgive are not the mass murders, the bullies, or any criminal. The hardest people to forgive are the ones who mean the most to you. Lets go back to the Hitler example. I was not captured and sent to the camps. If I was I would understandably feel some sort of anger toward Hitler and the guards. They were causing all this pain afterall. However, the ones I would be most hurt by were the ones that turned me in. Those were the ones that I had trusted with my life and had betrayed me. Neither the guards or Hitler himself could inflict a wound so deep.
The people that have the capacity to hurt you the most could be parents, siblings, friends, girlfriends, or boyfriends. These people had your trust. When push came to shove they were supposed to have your back. Your parents might not have protected you when you were younger. You parents might not have shown that they were proud of you despite your best efforts. Your friends might not have stood up for you. Your girlfriend/boyfriend might have cheated on you. Whatever the situation is, it is the sins committed by the ones most loved that cut the deepest and are hardest to forgive. Nothing else can cause such deep searing emotional pain. Nothing else can cause those long sleepless nights. Dante wrote that the deepest circle of hell was reserved for traitors. For the longest time I though he was much mistaken in his classification of sins from a human perspective, but the more I ponder it, the more I believe he was right.
