Its not an option

In order to be forgiven for your sins, you must forgive others for theirs. Its as simple as that. The Bible makes no secret of this as it is mentioned in every single gospel with the exception of John. (If you find it in John let me know)

At first this seems to contradict what we are taught in church. "All we need to do is accept Jesus and his act of sacrificing himself on the cross will be enough to forgive us." Well this isn't wrong either. Yes if you accept Jesus his act of sacrificing himself is enough to forgive you, but how realistic is it to expect God to forgive you for the transgressions committed against him, when you cannot forgive the infinitely smaller transgressions committed against you by others. The situation is the same as the unmerciful servant in Matthew. A master cannot be expected to forgive a massive debt, when that debtor cannot forgive a smaller one himself.

For those with their sights on heaven this makes more sense than you might think. Heaven is supposedly paradise. It is a place where everything is perfect when we will engage in fellowship with each other and the almighty. IF this is indeed what heaven is like, than there is no room for grudges or personal conflicts. If we hold grudges against fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, fellowship with them will not be friendly. If we are indeed stuck for all eternity with people whom we have not forgiven then Heaven will become Hell for the occupants. This creates obvious problems. In order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, one must be at peace with everyone present, and everyone that is yet to come.

This brings up an obvious question. Why don't we forgive? I can think of three reasons.

1. We feel that they have done something so bad, they cannot get away with it.

2. We feel that if we forgive, we are letting them off the hook.

3. We feel that we are somehow hurting the person if we don't forgive them.

The first two run together very well. The beauty of reality is that we are not letting them off the hook. "Vengeance is mine, says the Lord" When we forgive the person, the debt still stands for God. When we sin against another person, we also sin against God. Just because you have given your forgiveness doesn't mean that they are blame free. Obviously if they repent before God, they will be forgiven, but that is irrelevant. Vengeance is God's, not yours.

The third is completely false. When we don't forgive others we are not hurting them; we are hurting ourselves. If we live with bitterness, we will become bitter. Our entire outlook on life will become bitter. The pain you take with you will linger as long as you carry it. To put it simply, if you cannot forgive for others, forgive for yourself. After all, not forgiving is hurting you more than the offender of the sin.